Worried Someone May Be Suicidal? What to Notice, What to Say and Do

NEED HELP NOW? If someone is in immediate, life-threatening danger, call 911.

For 24/7 crisis support, call or text 988. In Wayne and Holmes counties, call The Counseling Center Crisis Team at 330-845-4357. If talking feels difficult, text HOME to 741741.

When someone you love says, “I don’t want to be here anymore,” “I’m going to kill myself,” or anything else that suggests they may end their life, take it very seriously. These are specific suicide warning signs, and immediate action is needed. You do not need to decide whether they “really mean it” before contacting crisis support.

Knowing how to help someone that is suicidal can feel overwhelming. You do not need to have perfect words or handle the situation alone. Your role is to notice what is happening, ask clearly, stay with the person and connect them with trained support.

What to notice: suicide warning signs

Some warning signs are changes you notice over time. Others are direct statements that require action now. Pay close attention when a behavior is new, is getting stronger or follows a painful event, loss or major change.

Take direct statements seriously

Statements such as these should never be brushed aside, treated as drama or assumed to be a joke:

• “I don’t want to be here anymore.”
• “I’m going to kill myself.”
• “Everyone would be better off without me.”
• “I can’t keep doing this.”

These statements are specific warning signs. Stay with the person and contact a crisis resource right away. A trained crisis professional can help you think through immediate safety, create a safety plan and connect the person with appropriate care.

Watch for changes in what they are doing

• Pulling away from friends, family, school, work or usual activities
• Giving away important belongings or putting personal affairs in order
• Looking for ways to die, stockpiling medication or gaining access to a firearm
• Taking dangerous risks or using alcohol or drugs more often
• Showing extreme mood swings, agitation, rage or a sudden shift from deep distress to unusual calm
• Sleeping or eating much more or much less than usual

Children and teens may also show distress through anger, withdrawal, a sudden drop in school performance, risky behavior, or posts and jokes about death. Take concerning words and behavior seriously, even when they are said casually or online.

What to say when you are worried

Start by letting the person know you care and are there to support them. You could say:

• “You have seemed overwhelmed and unlike yourself lately. I care about you, and I am worried.”
• “When you said you didn’t want to be here anymore, I took that seriously. I’m here with you.”

Ask directly about ending their life

Use simple, clear language. Ask the question plainly:

• “Have you been thinking about ending your life?”
• “Are you thinking about doing something to end your life?”

A person may say no when asked whether they are suicidal but say yes when asked whether they are thinking about taking action to end their life.

Direct, specific questions can make it easier for someone to answer honestly. Asking about suicide does not put the idea in someone’s head or increase suicidal thoughts.

Respond with empathy, not quick reassurance

If the person says yes, listen. You do not need to fix the pain or find the perfect response. Staying present and showing empathy can help them feel less alone. You can say:

• “I am glad you told me.”
• “You do not have to handle this alone.”
• “I am here with you. We are going to get help together.”

Avoid responses that minimize what the person is experiencing, such as, “But you have so much to live for,” or, “You’re not thinking of that, are you?”

These statements may unintentionally make it harder for the person to keep talking.

Never dismiss concerning words or behavior as “just doing it for attention.” If someone needs attention during a crisis, give them attention and help them connect with crisis support. Treat what they say as real.

Do not promise to keep suicidal thoughts or a plan secret. Safety comes first, even if the person is upset that you are involving someone else.

What to do if they say yes

A “yes” does not mean you must solve everything yourself. It means you should stay with the person and bring in trained support.

• Stay with them. Do not leave the person alone if they are thinking about taking action to end their life or if you believe there is immediate danger. Keep listening and stay as calm as you can.
• Reach crisis support now. Call or text 988 or, in Wayne and Holmes counties, call The Counseling Center Crisis Team at 330-845-4357. A crisis professional can guide you through safety planning and help connect the person with appropriate care.
• Ask about immediate safety. Ask whether they have a plan, whether they have access to what they would use and whether they have already taken any action to hurt themselves. Share this information with the crisis counselor or emergency responder.
• Help reduce access to lethal means. If you can do so safely, create distance from firearms, medications or other items they might use. Bring in another trusted adult. Do not put yourself in danger; if the situation is unsafe, move to safety and call 911.
• Use text support when talking feels too difficult. Text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line.
• Follow up. Check in after the immediate crisis. Help them keep appointments, make a short plan for who they will contact if thoughts return and continue to show up.

What if they say no, but you are still worried?

A person may not be ready to talk, or you may still see serious changes. Keep the door open. Tell them you care, check in again and offer to help them reach a counselor or another trusted person. You can also call or text 988 yourself for guidance about helping someone else.

For a child or teen, involve another safe adult and a qualified professional. Do not make one young person responsible for keeping another young person safe.

Quick answers for parents, friends and family

Will asking about suicide make things worse?

No. Research summarized by NIMH shows that asking directly about suicide does not cause or increase suicidal thoughts. Clear words can make it easier for someone to tell the truth.

What if they ask me to keep it secret?

Do not promise secrecy. Tell them you care too much to handle this alone and that you will involve only the people needed to help keep them safe.

What if someone says they are “just doing it for attention”?

Take the words seriously. Someone asking for attention during a crisis still needs attention, empathy and trained support. Believe the person and reach out to a local or national crisis resource.

Can I call 988 about someone else?

Yes. You can call or text 988 when you are worried about a friend, family member, student or coworker. A crisis counselor can help you decide what to do next.

When should I call 911?

Call 911 in an immediate, life-threatening situation, including an attempt in progress. Stay with the person if it is safe to do so and share any information you have about what they took, used or planned.

Crisis resources in Wayne and Holmes counties

Crisis support is available 24 hours a day. Save these numbers now so they are easier to find when someone needs help:

• Call or text 988: Reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline for immediate guidance and support.
• Call 330-845-4357: Reach The Counseling Center Crisis Team serving Wayne and Holmes counties.
• Text HOME to 741741: Reach the Crisis Text Line when texting feels easier than talking.
• Call 911: Use for an immediate, life-threatening emergency.

You do not have to find the perfect words

The goal is not to say everything perfectly. The goal is to make sure the person is not alone with a dangerous moment. Take the words seriously. Ask the direct question. Listen with empathy. Then stay with them while you bring in people who are trained to help.

No one should try to tackle a suicidal crisis alone.

After the immediate crisis has passed, ongoing support still matters. 

Anazao Community Partners offers ongoing therapy and behavioral health support for children, teens and adults, helping individuals and families find steady, compassionate care for what comes next. To learn more or get connected with care, contact Anazao Community Partners or call 330-264-9597. Anazao's online contact form is not an emergency service and may take up to three business days for a response.